The top ten activities of philosophers on July 4th

Now we know:

1. Drink booze  (Condorcet winner: wins contests with all other choices)

2. Eat barbecued animal products  loses to Drink booze by 134–38

3. Read philosophy  loses to Drink booze by 128–66, loses to Eat barbecued animal products by 92–88

4. Eat barbecued non-animal products  loses to Drink booze by 143–33, loses to Read philosophy by 99–67

5. Read blogs  loses to Drink booze by 142–36, loses to Eat barbecued non-animal products by 90–55

6. Write philosophy  loses to Drink booze by 143–42, loses to Read blogs by 75–73

7. Drink non-booze  loses to Drink booze by 147–32, loses to Write philosophy by 90–69

8. Read poetry  loses to Drink booze by 147–26, loses to Drink non-booze by 86–49

9. Burn the flag  loses to Drink booze by 145–26, loses to Read poetry by 69–54

10. Renew membership in the Communist Party  loses to Drink booze by 142–22, loses to Burn the flag by 58–51

I especially like that dead last in philosophers' activities for July 4th is renewing membership in the Republican Party, which loses (57-30) to eating barbecued human products (presumably Republican ones).

Time to break out the lighter fluid...