"The Jews rule this world by proxy"

So says the Malaysian Prime Minister, anyway (for all the details, and lots of good links, see Drezner).

But if we rule the world, how come I can't:

(1) find the perfect school for my 2nd-grader?

or

(2) find an Italian restaurant in Austin that wouldn't be car-bombed by the Mafia in New York for gastronomic offenses?

It must be because my mother was Catholic. Unfair. I really don't want to rule the whole world, I'd settle for 1 and 2.