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Jerry Springer Meets Philosophy

Barry Lam (Vassar) sends along this funny video clip, which he thinks is from an Australian comedy show.  As Professor Lam notes:  "If this is funny to Australians, then they must be far more educated than Americans."

UPDATE:  My colleague Michael Kremer passes along this "viciously funny" segment from the same Australian comedy show, this one about dumb Americans (and I mean really dumb).  It's a bit long, but it is funny (even funnier, I imagine, if you don't live here!).

The Accidental Philosophical Lexicon

Larry Laudan (UNAM) writes:

A couple of days ago, I was forwarding a long list of philosophers to a friend.  My spell checker in Mozilla Thunderbird was recently installed (and thus still virginal).  Here are some of the more bizarre corrections it proposed (occasionally it produced several intriguing alternatives):

 

Buechner         Muchness        Buccaneer

Feyerabend      Considerably   Imponderable  Federated

Hintikka           Antiknocks     Skintight          Intakes

Lakatos            Krakatoa's       Lactose

Nagel               Bagel               Angel               Navel

Ockham           Jackhammer

Schlick             Schlock            Schtick

Parmenides      Disbarments    Promenades

Jowett             Towelette

Plotinus           Guillotines

Sextus Empiricus   Textures    Sixties empiricism

Avenarius        Aquariuses

Cassirer            Brassiere

Dilthey            Filthy               Dilute

Feuerbach        Paperback

Gadamer          Daydreamer     Cadaver

Horkheimer      Alzheimer's

von Kleist         Pleistocene

Meineke            Neckerchief    Menace

Meinong          Tiptoeing

Natorp             Vibrator

Radbruch          Debauchery

von Schlegel      Phlegmatic

Tugendhat        Halogenated

Vaihinger          Fingernails

Weininger        Mudslinger

Anaximander   Gerrymander

Anaximenes     Proximateness

Anscombe       Uncombed

Boutroux         Monstrous

Brentano          Repentance

Condillac         Vacillation

Neurath           Accurate

Schleiermacher   Supermachine

Voegelin          Hegelian

Wollaston        Gladstone

The obvious moral: don’t trust your spell checker!

Fun with an Anonymous Fool

Spiros knows how to have it.  (And the title of this post is obviously not redundant.)  Apologies to Billy Joel fans.

Anyone who blogs should save a copy in order to paste into messages as needed.

In Praise of Idleness

Mark Kingwell (Toronto) comments.

Your Official Leiter Reports Presidential Poll

Please vote often!

Who would you REALLY like to see elected President of the U.S.?
John McCain
Barack Obama
Rev. Jeremiah Wright
William Ayers
Sarah Palin
A Moose
PZ Myers, aka, "Pharyngula"
Glenn Reynolds, aka, "InstaIgnorance"
Immanuel Kant
Any member of the PGR Advisory Board
Any member of the Texas Taliban
Jason Stanley
Paul Krugman, Nobel Laureate
Gary Becker, Nobel Laureate
Saul Kripke, Schock Prize Winner
The Anonymous Proprietor of the Now Defunct "Dadahead" Blog
Stephen Colbert
Ali G.
A Philosopher Named Cohen (G.A., Joshua, or Stewart)
Any Four-Dimensionalist
 
pollcode.com free polls

Click on the "Submit Query" button on the right to see the results so far.

BREAKING NEWS:  EARLY VOTING RESULTS 10:30 AM EST:  Things are not looking good for the Illinois Senator with the philosophy vote:  with only 10% of the votes cast, Senator Obama trails Immanuel Kant (12%), Stephen Colbert (13%), A Philosopher Named Cohen (13%), and Any Four-Dimensionalist (12%).  There are reasons to suspect, however, that metaphysicians are over-represented in this sample.  We'll be watching this carefully throughout the day.  Meanwhile, Senator McCain, with 3% of the vote, is in a tie with former Weatherman William Ayers, Professor Myers of Pharyngula, and Ali G. 

UPDATE 1 PM EST:  Our scientific survey has been discovered by Pharyngula!  Expect a surge for Professor Myers.  Metaphysicians, Kantians, and political philosophers/epistemologists will have to get on the move if this is going to be a horse race! 

VOTE UPDAT 5 PM EST:  It turns out that the 1033 votes for Professor Myers were spoiled, and so have to be discounted.  (Sorry, Paul!)  Here then are the actual results as of 5 pm:

1.  Barack Obama (326 votes)

2.  Stephen Colbert (256 votes)

3.  A Moose (144 votes)

4.  Immanuel Kant (100 votes)

5.  Paul Krugman (79 votes)

6.  Any Four-Dimensionalist (76 votes)

7.  A Philosopher Named Cohen (49 votes)

8.  Ali G.  (41 votes)

9.  William Ayers (39 votes)

10.  Saul Kripke (31 votes)

I was particularly pleased to see that Professor Ayers got more votes than Senator McCain and Governor Palin combined! 

"Boiled Nonsense" for Lunch

Here.  Maybe they're serving Derrida or Ayn Rand?

(Thanks to Matt Burstein for the pointer.)

More Fun with Ayn Rand

Via this German blog,  I am reminded that the 2008 Philosophical Lexicon has an amusing entry on the pseudo-philosopher du jour:

rand, n. An angry tirade occasioned by mistaking philosophical disagreement for a personal attack and/or evidence of unspeakable moral corruption. "When I questioned his second premise, he flew into a rand." Also, to attack or stigmatise through a rand. "When I defended socialised medicine, I was randed as a communist."

Leibniz on McCain

Sort of, courtesy of Michael Drake.  Pretty funny.

Hitler and Nietzsche Meet

Here.

How Are You Celebrating "Metaphysical Awareness Month"?

Steven Hales (Bloomsburg) calls to my attention that September is "Metaphysical Awareness Month."  Professor Hales has pledged to "remain essentially self-identical all month long."  What are your plans?

The Philosophical Lexicon: quaint diversion or instrument of hegemony? (Hellie)

The 2008 update of the Philosopher's Lexicon is a bit exasperating. A preliminary concern is that the treatment of continental figures continues to be shabby -- contemptuous and dismissive.

Perhaps a bit more distressing is the PL's continued heavy slant toward a certain generation of philosophers. It's hard to find a philosopher on the list born much after 1950 (the sole exception I find being Neander, with Korsgaard and Shapiro born in '52 and '51, respectively).

This isn't plausibly due to the unlikeliness of a philosopher's doing anything worthy of being immortalized in this way until their late 50s. First, the previous edition of the PL was compiled in 1987. At the time, only philosophers born before 1930 were that old, but there are plenty of entries younger than that (Plantinga, AO Rorty, Searle, Stroud, Block, Boyd, Chihara, Follesdal, Dennett, Parfit, Desousa, Donnellan, Dretske, Dworkin, ... just to get through the Ds). And second, just to pull a few out of the sky, surely such entries as the following are as amusing and informative as many current entries: luddite (a philosopher who likes technology), side (an aspect of a time-slice), William (a father of a necessary being), to chalm (to control the behavior of a zombie), to leit (to control the behavior of an academic discipline).

Much more credible as an explanation is that Dennett, the compiler of the PL, was himself born in 1942, and the doctrines, peculiarities, and insider humor of philosophers after his generation have largely eluded his attention. Seen in this light, the PL as currently constituted can be plausibly regarded as a (perhaps somewhat self-congratulatory) joke among the members of Dennett's generation.

The top-heaviness of the PL might be thought to be not entirely without negative consequences. It is natural for an undergraduate major or beginning grad student to regard the PL as a guide to the stereotypical doctrines or styles of the most important philosophers; absence from the list, by contrast, would signal marginality. If so, the PL hegemonizes Dennett's generation and marginalizes those who come afterward.

If the PL were a mere samizdat or internet barnacle collecter (deaths of philosophers, breakup lines of philosophers, and the like), this would not matter much or at all. But as published by Blackwell, the PL has a sort of canonical status as capturing humorously the profession's self-conception. While the 1987 version was an amusing relic or snapshot of the field at the time, the 2008 update takes on a somewhat darker tone.

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The Philosophical Lexicon is Back!

And updated for 2008.

Remembering George Carlin, Moral Philosopher

Here.  (Thanks to Jerry Dworkin for the link.)

UPDATE:  And political philosopher.  (Thanks to Jeffrey Roland for the pointer.)

The History of Philosophy in 90 Seconds

Courtesy of New York-based comedian Jennifer Dziura, who was a philosophy major at Dartmouth.  A few good laughs!

Philosophy Made Easy Through Simple Poems!

This is quite amusing; the poems are by Brian Knudson.

Philosophers named after birds, fish, body parts, occupations, etc.

Who knew?

Politically Correct and Non-Legally Binding Holiday Wishes

Here.

"How the APA Stole Christmas"

Here, courtesy of bioethicist Carl Elliott at Minnesota.

"I've looked at brains from both sides now"

A song inspired by the work of David Chalmers (ANU).  (The photos accompanying the song do raise an important philosophical question:  why did he stop shaving?)

Rated "R" for "Metaphysics"

From The New York Times review of Francis Ford Coppola's film "Youth Without Youth":

“Youth Without Youth” is rated R (Under 17 requires accompanying parent or adult guardian). Gun violence, sexual congress, female nudity, metaphysics.

If only they'd cut the metaphysics scene, it might have been PG-13!

(Thanks to Charles Huenemann for the pointer.)

Ubermunsch Snacks!

Something to snack on while watching the Kant attack ad.

Immanuel Kant: "Wrong on metaphysics, wrong on ethics, wrong on aesthetics"

I'm not sure, though, that he is "wrong for America."  But this is quite funny.  (Thanks to Amy Kind for the pointer.)

Holiday Greetings from the Philosophers of Action at Florida State

Randolph Clarke, Michael McKenna, and Alfred Mele.  (It may take awhile to load, and seems to work better from Internet Explorer than Mozilla Firefox.)

Are Moral Philosophers Ethical?

At last, the truth:

The majority of philosophers expressed the view that ethicists do not behave better than non-ethicists.  Ethicists themselves were about evenly divided between saying ethicists behave better and saying they behave the same.  Non-ethicists were about evenly divided between saying that ethicists behave better, the same, and worse.

More useful would be to know about the differences between Kantians, utilitarians, and virtue ethicists.  Based on my utterly non-scientific, anecdotal method, my conclusion is that you're safest with utilitarians and virtue theorists, and in mortal danger around Kantians (it's that combination of dogmatic rectitude and lack of judgment, I guess--or to quote Geuss again, "The Kantian philosophy is no more than at best a half-secularized version of...a theocratic ethics with 'Reason' in the place of God" [Outside Ethics, p. 20]).  I assume some Experimental Philosophers will tackle this weighty matter next.

UPDATE:  Professor Schwitzgebel (UC Riverside) observes:

I have noticed that everyone I've spoken to so far who thinks there are differences in ethical character between Kantians, utilitarians, and virtue ethicists thinks the Kantians are the worst of the lot. I'd be interested to hear readers' thoughts about this.

Free Will & Determinism Comics

Here.  (Thanks to Saul Smilansky for the pointer.)

The Otago (New Zealand) Supplement to "The Philosophical Lexicon"

Courtesy of Charles Pigden (Otago): here.  Pretty funny...if you know your Kiwi philosophers!

Fodor Parodies Wittgenstein (Leiter)

Weatherson has the details and background, but (via Ned Block) here is a slightly easier to read version of the parody.

"Nano-Philosophy"...

...the search for "very, very small philosophical questions."  Courtesy of Robert Stainton (Western Ontario) and his former colleagues from the University of Waterloo.

Politically Correct and Non-Legally Binding Holiday Wishes (Leiter)

Here.

Job Ad: Lectureship in "Conscious Sedation" (Leiter)

You can't make this stuff up.

How Not to Recruit Students to Your PhD Program (Leiter)

The Economics Department at Harvard actually prepared this video as a recruiting device for prospective PhD students.  It is fair to say that this was not a successful effort.  Students in the Department, in turn, prepared two parodies of the original:  here and here.  I confess I almost died laughing on the second one especially.

Let this be a lesson to all!

German Philosophers vs. the Greeks...

...in this Monty Python classic.  The mistake of the Germans was not to start Marx and play other philosophers who subordinate theory to praxis.  (To their credit, the Monty Python folks understand that:  note Marx's objection at the end to the final goal, in contrast to the others.)

"Nietzsche Family Circus" (Leiter)

Here:  curious and mildly amusing.  (Thanks to Nicholas Daum for the pointer.)

The Oxford "Jurisprudence Census"

If you know something about legal philosophy--especially Oxford-centric legal philosophy--you will find this rather amusing.  (Thanks to Les Green for the pointer.)

Funny Moments in Student Journalism (Leiter)

I generally like The Daily Texan, but this howler from Monday's paper is too good to let pass in silence.  This is from an article on a conference on campus organized by "Historians Against the War":

U.S. citizens must understand the United States' history of empiricism in order to speak out against and stop the war in Iraq, said historian, author and political activist Howard Zinn Friday....

He went on to say the United States has had a long history of civilizing people, or at least claiming to.

"The United States is behaving like all the empirical powers have in the past," Zinn said.

Who knew that if we had only been a rationalist nation, instead of an empiricist one, the U.S. never would have inflicted so much carnage on Indonesia, Guatemala, Iraq, Chile, Nicaragua, etc.?

Personal Ads of the Philosophers: Kant

SWM, 56, university professor, virgin, just finishing big book, looking for expanded social life. Hobbies include walking around town, starry-sky gazing, rational self-governance. I do not enjoy liars, promise-breakers, dogmatic slumbers, doing the morally right thing (but I do it anyway, out of respect for duty) or travelling. Seeks woman (Konigsberg area, please) for non-exploitative relationship based on mutual respect for our rational natures.

(Originally posted December 6, 2003.)

The Onion Zaps Loudmouth Philosophy Students

So many readers have kindly sent me this item that I have to post it.

Philosopher's Tics

A reader sends in this amusing list of "philosopher's tics"--none of which, of course, are ever in evidence on this blog!

Philosopher's Tics: The inability to pass over a faulty inference or fallacy in silence, or to correct it in a spirit of generosity; a relentless need to accuse one's adversary of insufficient 'rigor', or of 'misreading' or 'failing to understand' one's position; and, the worst of all, a constant need to drive home one's greater intellect, at the expense of the merits of the argument. I married a philosophy major...so I may be particularly sensitive to these tics.

But wouldn't the world be a better place if there were fewer faulty inferences, more rigor and better reading, and if everyone were as smart as philosophers?

Tic, tic, tic...

[Originally posted July 2, 2004.]

Personal Ads of the Philosophers: Nietzsche

SWM, 42, retired academic living on modest pension, some health problems but highly resilient. Handsome in a Teutonic way. Enjoys solitude, walking in the mountains, fate, the French, and opera (Bizet, not Wagner!). Anti-religious (both the church and its poison). Seeks woman willing to will the eternal return of our relationship. No Germans, "free thinkers," Anglophiles, or anti-semites. No permanent mailing address, so please respond to Box #1291.

(Originally posted December 4, 2003).

Philosophical Insights in Beatles' Lyrics

This is fairly clever, and philosophers, at least, will find it amusing.  (Spotted via Weatherson's site.)

Jeremy Bentham to Become CEO of Shell Hydrogen

Story here.  Who knew the old Auto-Icon had so much "life" still in him?

(Thanks to Craig Duncan for the pointer.)

Philosophical Joke

A philosopher in Canada sends the following:

What do you get when you cross a deconstructionist and a mafioso? He'll make you an offer you can't understand.

The Prayer of Australian Philosophers...

...or at least those at the ANU. Written by Daniel Nolan, distinguished ANU grad now at St. Andrews, philosophers will find it very funny, everyone else will scratch their heads.

(Thanks to Brian Weatherson for the pointer.)

Love as a "moral" emotion?

It's not often that the journal Ethics (edited by my esteemed colleague John Deigh) publishes funny articles, but the rejoinder by Elijah Millgram to David Velleman's 1999 article "Love as a Moral Emotion" (requires JSTOR) certainly qualifies (perhaps as wickedly funny). If your institution subscribes, you can access Professor Millgram's article here. An excerpt:

"The Kantian element [in Velleman's account of love] is that you are supposed to love that person as a rational being or, more precisely, an 'idealized, rational will' (p. 344); what you are supposed to love in them is 'the capacity to be actuated by reasons,' the 'capacity to care about things in that reflective way which is distinctive of self-conscious creatures like us' (p. 365)....

"Velleman confirms the point I want to make here by calling your rational self your 'true self' (p. 365). It is not a new observation that when someone tells you that x is your 'true interest,' or that x is what we 'truly want,' or that x is someone's 'true home,' we can be pretty sure that x is not actually in your interest, that we don't actually want x, and that x is not actually his home. This use of 'true' might as well be a negation operator, and when Velleman tells us that our rational selves are our true selves, he is (inadvertently) acknowledging that they're not actually our selves at all....

"In a surprising book-length essay, Stendhal (Marie Henri Beyle) argues that what he calls 'crystallization' is a central feature of romantic love. One never, he thinks, loves a person as that person is. Instead, one loves an idealized fantasy of perfection that obscures the person from view, in something like the way that salt crystals growing on twigs in the Salzburg salt mines obscure the twigs from view. Velleman has produced an account that...ends up as Kantian crystallization, that is, treating empirical persons as the occasions for fantasies of Kantian practical rationality...."

Tired of Kantian fantasies about love? On a different note, here's what the scientists are saying.

Protect Yourself from Mind Control!

At last, a solution is here: "Aluminum Foil Deflector Beanie: An Effective, Low-Cost Solution To Combating Mind-Control."

(Thanks to Ann Bartow for the pointer.)

Hobbes, Iraq, Rumsfeld

Cartoon here.

(Thanks to Adrian Viens at Oxford for the pointer.)

New Nietzschean Diet Lets You Eat What You Fear Most

Various folks were kind enough to e-mail me this morning to call my attention to this amusing item from The Onion. Let me state for the record that the Nietzsche scholarship on which this humor is based is not entirely sound. But it's funny anyway.

Philosophy Cartoon

Quite funny, if unjust--courtesy of Michael Sevel.

Indexicals, Children, and Kant

I was corresponding with a distinguished philosopher about the shared affection of our small children for indexicals and possessive pronouns (such as "me" and "mine"). My anecdote about my oldest, when he was 2:

Father: "I'm me, you're you."

Son: "No, I'm me, and you're you."

Father: No, I"m me, you're you."

Son: "No, no, no, I'm me, and you're you."

etc.

Debates about "me" and "you," this philosopher noted, soon give way to reflections on "me" and what's "mine." This philosopher observed: "Kant got it all wrong about the basic categories of conscious experience. Concepts of possession beat those of causality and substance any day." Indeed!

Ten Books of Philosophy That Will Never Be Written are...

here courtesy of Michael Sevel. Quite amusing. (I'm not sure Sevel has got my title right, though--I'd prefer to not write In Defense of Constructive Interpretivism or The Case for Intuitions in Philosophy or New Philosophical Arguments for Intelligent Design.)

ADDENDUM: And Jerry Cohen is extremely unhaughty and unOxford!

UPDATE: 5 more choice books of philosophy that won't be written, courtesy of Noumenon.

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