Via reader Ian Best comes this all-purpose set of seasons greetings, written by Professor Gary Potter (Music, Indiana-Bloomington):
From me ("the wishor") to you ("the wishee"):
Please accept without obligation, implied or implicit, my best wishes for an
environmentally conscious, socially responsible, politically correct, low
stress, non-addictive, gender neutral celebration of the winter solstice
holiday, practised within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious
persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with respect
for the religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions of others, or their
choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all. I wish you a
financially successful, personally fulfilling and medically uncomplicated
recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2005, but
with due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures or sects, and
having regard to the race, creed, colour, age, physical ability, religious
faith, choice of computer platform or sexual preference of the wishee. By
accepting this greeting you are bound by these terms that:-
This greeting is subject to further clarification or withdrawal.
This greeting is freely transferable provided that no alteration shall be
made to the original greeting and that the proprietary rights of the wishor
This greeting implies no promise by the wishor to actually implement any of
This greeting may not be enforceable in certain jurisdictions and/or the
restrictions herein may not be binding upon certain wishees in certain
jurisdictions and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wishor.
This greeting is warranted to perform as reasonably may be expected within the usual application of good tidings, for a period of one year or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first.
The wishor warrants this greeting only for the limited replacement of this
wish or issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wishor.
Any references in this greeting to "the Lord", "Father Christmas", "Our
Saviour", "Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer" or any other festive figures,
whether actual or fictitious, dead or alive, shall not imply any endorsement
by or from them in respect of this greeting, and all proprietary rights in
any referenced third party names and images are hereby acknowledged.
This greeting is made under Czech Law.